Sister Klaus Kumari in an exclusive extract from The Confessional Comments:
If God, Self, guru and devotee are one and if that unity is simultaneously real and unreal and we therefore are not totally existent, I can only conclude that we maybe exist. I can confirm that, I always thought it was a kind of suppressed madness in myself, but now the clouds have lifted and I am standing naked in the blazing sun of Awareness and Sister Klaus will shine forever as a Maybe!
There are some events that fracture us along lines of dissonance, causing the identity to fragment and disintegrate. Likewise there are some that cause the identity to clench and harden. Moments like Radha Ma's death are the poisoned darts that speed towards our deepest doubt: our deepest doubt that we truly exist! Events that strike at the heart of us - unnerve us and cause us to question - reveal our deep uncertainty about the nature of existence. With the disintegration of presumed identity, the mirror of separation can finally shatter ...
As Karl Marx said: "All that is solid melts into air, all that is holy is profaned!" A natural opening is possible when, with the death of the alleged individual, a colossal energy demands to be integrated. Our sense of cast iron identity, once present in material form, destabilises. This energy strikes at the root of our belief in anything solid or real - and at this point we are subject to something far greater.
The ego - that hard, crystallised tower of views and conceit - resides at the epicentre of this seismic shock to the system. But we never know when the tidal wave of destruction will come. This dissolution and its internal alchemy is a wondrous thing. Like quicksilver it runs through our conceptual hands, evading futile attempts to imprison its magic and luxuriant mystery.
Apparently we live in tumultuous times: tsunamis, nuclear meltdown, uprisings in the Middle East, ever-rising food prices ... and self-immolating gurus! These all add spice to the Society of the Spectacle that feeds our apocalyptic imagination. But the apocalypse is not the end of society or the world as we know it ... it is the death of the self.
Enjoy the ride, it's gonna get helter skelter ...