Tuesday, December 25, 2012

Fuck the Mayan calendar!

Dearly beloved Chi-Ting devotees

Never mind about the Fifth Dimension, the End of Time, imminent cataclysm and the deliberate extermination of the human race which is so obviously under way ... His Holiness Sri Sri SRI Swami Kevinandaji is pleased to announce the joyous advent of a new revelation:

During the annual Chi-Ting party, a newly indoctrinated Chi-Ting devotee Commander Alkar (the renegade progeny of Ashtar Command) was found writhing in ecstasy beneath an apple tree shrieking: "This is it! This is it!" Having just partaken of the DMT Pipe of Peace - offered round by our beloved Sister Klaus who deigned to leave her cave for the festive season - the Commander duly departed in his fleet of ships; saved the universe by destroying the reptilian threat once and for all; and returned for a celebratory cheese fondue and a line of coke somewhere in the region of the Swiss Alps ...

So rejoice! While the forces of materialism continue their rapacious bout of seasonal gluttony (like the parents in the manga movie Spirited Away) ... we no longer need to fear that the Mayan calendar has come and gone. What happened? Nothing or everything? And is it the same thing? All this apocalyptic frenzy is an integral part of the human psyche. It's a cliff hanger: just another story to tell ... a potboiler plot with all the momentary thrill of a Dan Brown novel and the added anti-climax of Foucault's Pendulum. A veritable tale of expectation followed by inevitable disappointment, we have been kindling our fire for millennia with the heroic myth of Gilgamesh and the likes of Odysseus with his dodgy wooden horse. Even the smiting and smoting of the Old Testament has a certain base and bestial allure. The human imagination craves entertainment and this is the biggest game in town. We at Chi-Ting may snipe from the sidelines with our own brand of Swiftian mockery but that too is part of the pageant - the colour and flavour of the fickle mob brought to riotous life with a sharply penned phrase or two!

The corridors of time converge and the clock stops ... Perhaps during this momentary and pregnant pause in the collective psyche, the battered remnants of the counter culture will make their last stand along with any other fellow passengers on the Spaced Out Enterprise. A new vista beckons. Could there be a sea change from the spectacular freefall into Corporate Nightmare World that we are currently witnessing? Maybe we will live to see some form of 60s' Star Trek socialism all trussed up in camp velcro uniforms! (Let's just call it the Neue World Order!) Has our long promised shiny new utopian world actually arrived? Or have our ET chums been indefinitely delayed at customs? Time is allegedly no more yet we still seem to be here resplendent in all our 3D glory: lumpy, grumpy, warts 'n' all! Are we destined to be forever stuck in the same 'ol game of charades - and ultimately does it matter?

The bottom line is who gives a flying fuck. The time for contemplating our navel is over ...
Just seize the day. It's bold and beautiful out there!


  1. I can’t say much about the post. It does seem that Kevinji was very busy digesting a very heavy Christmas diner while writing this small Dadaistic masterpiece (with too much cheap red wine and even cheaper port!) Although I do understand the question ... "Are we destined to be forever stuck in the same 'ol game of charades – and ultimately does it matter?" The answer is yes to the first and no to the second. So there is actually no difference between contemplating your navel and seizing the day!

  2. Indeed a great post by Kevji.
    I can only contribute to it with a short poetic impression.

    That year once past, then peacefully shall reign
    I AM, with those beloved as His own.
    Nor blast nor slight shall govern to men’s bane,
    nor good will, unrewarded, stand alone,
    but Joy, long promised once for time to come,
    to folk in Heaven, will draw into her belfry.
    Then the stud-farms, amazed once, will gain
    their triumphs true in a right royal palfrey.

    And it will at last, that age of sleight-of-hand,
    until the day when Mars in chains is bound.
    Then one will come outstripping all the band,
    beautiful, gracious, non fairer to be found;
    lift up your hearts. Stand ye the feast around,
    my faithful folk. For he has past o’er,
    ne’er to return, whatever goods abound;
    time past shall be regretted as no more.

    At last, he shall be logged (of wax once made)
    In the hinge of the Manikin who strikes the bell.
    That title ‘Cyre!’ shall never more be said
    to him who holds the cauldron as men tell.
    Alas! Who could his sword arrest would quell
    and clean away bad cauli-headed uses,
    with packing-cord could truss up firm and well
    and tie up tight the factory of abuses.

  3. So Firefly you are the reincarnation of Francois Rabelais and all the time we thought you were Little Shiva in disguise. Now there's a turn up for the books!

  4. On Dec 21st at 11.11am we entered the Fifth Age subsequent of the galactic convergence direct with the Grand Central Sun. We are now free. Separation is a tool in the hands of our oppressors to keep us down and keep us small. The energies are fully available once more to all of us - if we stop fighting and questioning reality. We are divine and we can now see life for what it truly is: an impermanent holographic time tunnel which we can accept, release and so transform. We are becoming fully interdimensional beings. We can communicate with those on other levels: our ancestors, fellow time-travellers and of course those who already know they are starseeds.

    Meanwhile there are many who still continue their conventional 3D existence. Just step out the door and you will seem them buying their fast food and their ready made designed lives in a box off the shelves. This is not for them: the sensitivity to the accelerating vibrations is simply not there and for them life is becoming harder and more painful. The squeeze is on. Soon taxation will rise beyond means, food will not be affordable and there will be no point in working or sending our sons and daughters away to fight in wars which are an economic necessity for the privileged few. The system will collapse. It is only a matter of time.

    This is what we call the "split in the path" - those for whom duality is no more - versus those who now will only fall lower and lower in frequency.

  5. I am in a bad mood, so time to write a comment. This post reads (again) like a Monty Python “cheese shop”, where the owner (Palin, Kevinji) tries to sell some cheese to the desperate customer (Cleese, you and I) and in the end has to admit he has no cheese at all and therefore is shot. No seize the day for him!

    On a more serious note, I put a price on the head of that wanker Crazy Horse, who continues to poison us with his totally ridiculous and dangerous ideas about non-existing fellow time-travellers and starseeds. He just follows or tries to create a new religion without a shred of evidence, just building upon childish wishful thinking and a longing for a new whim, a new fashion, because he cannot cope with the way he is. He looks for solutions outside instead of inside, like millions of others, making them an easy target for all satsang clowns and New Age criminals. I advise Crazy Horse to join his brothers and sisters in the US Bible belt and visit one of the “Hell house outreaches”. I am sure he will feel at home there. For more information about these dangerous lunatics watch: Richard Dawkins' Root Of All Evil!

  6. There is no time for hate anymore sister. For a nun you sound pretty eaten up. My ideas are no more dangerous than yours. You are mouthing off about cheese, man. You the crazy one! We are all star-seeds. The science men tell us we arrived here from other galaxies on the back of rocks. Time travel has been going on for years in the US government, that's how Obama went to Mars in the early 80s. Now the CERN project made all this public. I think you stuck in some kind of religious time warp over there in India. Life is a hologram. You religious nutjobs claim you have the one true way then start everybody fighting. But in the real world everyone is discovering another way. You can make peace with the world around you, accept it the way it is and be in Love. This is heart. You people in India are spiritual intellectuals hiding from the everyday. That is mind. Your days are done. Ascension into 5D is only heart and we know the body is just our spacesuit, not some prison for a self-identified existence. But you don't know what I am talking about. Even though we are both fingers on the same hand.

  7. Kevinanda, you've got it wrong again probably because you are a Chi-Ting Master! To think that I would be that slimy creature Shiva is an affront and totally preposterous. I am actually a direct descendant in the lineage of the great Rabelais family from Seuilly in Indre-et-Loire county. I share the family slogan of “eat, drink and be merry” and the vulgarity and bawdiness of my famous ancestor. So you might ask, what for fuck's sake am I doing here in Tiruvannamalai? Well my sadhana here is based on the same slightly bizarre qualities. I might even be friends with silly Sister Klaus, but she is in her own supreme league of sexual derangement and other obscenities; brilliant in her way, but not somebody you ever could call a friend. So we avoid each other, because sadhana is a personal happening not to be shared with anyone, except maybe in Tantra (but this road is already blown up several posts ago by our Führer Kevinanda).

  8. You gave up on Tantra because you couldn't pull any playmates! It had nothing to do with anything I wrote. It was all about your chronic halitosis and physical disadvantages!

  9. Crazy Horse, I don’t hate you, you are just barking mad. You have no sense of humour and if you don’t like Monty Python, you must be an American. Although your joke that Obama went to Mars in the early 80s is a good one, I suspect you actually think it is true. I might be a bit crazy, but at least I know that my happiness does not depends on what happens in the world around me. I don’t have to make peace, because that peace is already there. There is not one true way, there is no religious time warp. The world might be real or unreal, but what you call the real world and the everyday is just your projection of your own unhappiness. You think that if the world changes you will change with it. That mistake has been made many times in history as you probably know and it will not be different this time! My days might be done, so be it. It doesn’t matter. Your days have not even started. Keep on dreaming in your world of time travels, starseeds and space suits and ascension into 5D. But even mad people can be happy. I have seen it when I worked in a psychiatric ward.

    No I don’t know what you are talking about and yes we are both fingers on the same hand.

  10. Dear Sister
    I am Native American, if it's all the same to you, 74 years old. It might be a surprise to you but the world does not revolve around British TV from back in the 70s. I said peace comes from accepting the way it is - something tells me you are very uneasy at heart. In your answer you just picked off my words, sentence by sentence like a robot. You are deep in the mind. You talk of real and unreal like a philosopher. Reality is a joke. Though I think mine is a little more tolerant and less tight than yours. Time travel has been with us for a long time friend, the indigenous peoples have known about it for many years. It is time for you to catch up. We were told when we were young that ascension would come 2011-2013 and only the arrogant would ridicule it. Sounds like you! Soon star beings will arrive, many are already here. Their DNA has now woken up. But you just condemned this in your previous comment ... Enlightenment is simply genetic activation with the raised vibrational frequencies but you religious freaks have turned it into a doctrine which divides and labels others as "crazy."

  11. I have been here 68 yrs and I AM a nativity of the "SUN'.

    Everyone better listen to Mr. Craze Horse concerning "Ascension" especially those wishing to move on with this planet and solar system. Also everything which has been stated by C.H. in this last response are 'true'.

    I AM!.... YOU ARE!.... SOURCE IS!
    'Affirm' THAT(I AM) and consciousness Expands. 'Negate' the concept and 'consciousness' recedes... even to the point of extinction!

    To Sister.... if I may say?... you are caught between a 'rock and a hard place'. Your 'suffering' comes from both sides as I well know. I am sure no one envies your existence.
    The Buddha said take refuge in the "Dharma".


  12. There is definitely time travel and it easily fits into advaita. The problem is advaitins not advaita!