Thursday, September 27, 2012

Venus in furs ...


Pranaams and salutations to Thee, Oh Right Reverend Kevinandaji
Defender of the Faith, Supplier of Infinite Mirth, Protector of the Faithless
Reliever of Heaviness to the Myriad Suffering Jivas trapped in our present Kali Yuga

I write to submit an image of a recent flyer I received as a direct emailing from His Holiness, the Paramhansa NithyaSaiBabananda. He (or Sevadars doing his holy advertising work) has just sent this to millions of his online subscribers who are registered to receive his weekly digital darshan. It is given out worldwide by His Holiness over the internet.


His ministry program features a question and answer period covering important Vedic topics such as the casting out of evil spirits, the use of shakti energy to avoid traffic accidents, removal of psychosomatic karmic impediments, etc etc ... But there is more!


He has announced his availability for reading the Akashic records of devotees, potentially conferring a wide range of benefits (see the brochure!)


You may also observe he is now showing himself off in a splendid new designer outfit, standing in front of an impossibly large moon. Is this a studio shot or simply a skilled photoshop rendering, one wonders?!


We understand that he has engaged a brilliant Bollywood costume designer to create his new look. Here we see an example of his splendid new image arrayed in a designer simulated tiger skin that hugs his well proportioned, androgenous, upper male-female body. This is strikingly set off by the use of a giant Tibetan rudraksha bell necklace with waistband combo, accentuated by rudraksha-only bicep and wrist malas. Will he wear a similar attire to this to attend his police gender inspection appointment? One somehow doubts he will!


With folded hands, I again salute you Sri Sri SRI Kevinandaji, for bringing a realm of sanity and humour to an insane world!


Myles O'Blarney



67 comments:

  1. Just another thought about the theatrical attire of His Holiness Paramahansa NithySaiBabananda in the photo above.

    Does it not seem he has dressed himself perfectly for "strutting his stuff" atop a Mardi Gras or Carnival Float in New Orleans or in Rio? Or that his utterly preposterous costume might never-the-less be appropriate for a lead dancer in the next "Gay - Transgendered Sadhu Pride" parade?

    As my Uncle Tiberius would certainly have said while gravely shaking his head, "You can't MAKE this stuff up."

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  2. In this apt depiction of the custodian of Akashic records for the afflicted. Myles O'Blarney must have drawn on (at least subliminally) a character hybrid, blending the revolutionary zeal of Emilio Zapata with Chaleston Heston's passionate divine mission in one of those tawdry biblical blockbusters ... The venal nature of Nithyananda's own sizeable Akashic knot will take lifetimes to loosen, particularly the slicing of a portion of Arunachala's foothills. The divine physician's scalpel will require extra sharpening to heal him properly ... He will then be brought to heel and then cast off the hill ...

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  3. I thought we got rid of this 'sidewinder' or is this guy simply a clone? I know he is a clown. By the way in case some do not know what a sidewinder is... "a rattle snake which moves forward by moving sideways". We already know his tongue is forked.

    His new attire...? You never know Nithy may have skinned the leopard with his own hands. I think it is time to impale him on one of those stone lingams.

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  4. Be careful O’Blarney, don’t mess around with the tender and vulnerable feelings and very long toes of the transgendered. I hope you talk out of ignorance because you should know that there is only one Transgendered Sadhu in this place and that is Me! All others, including his fuckin' unholiness, are imposters.

    For now I forgive you your silly mistake, but next time one of my Bleistiftabsatzen will hit you full in your preposterous Irish marbles. Anyway that poor sod Nithy wouldn't stand the slightest chance in even the lamest kindergarten tranny contest ...

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  5. Venus in furs, having failed to enter the charts,is no match for Venus in bluejeans which peaked at No.7 on billboard. Nithyasibananda's Tune Masters must lift their game! For my money the Dutch Shocking Blue produced the best Venus, explosive, no frills brilliant rhythmic extravaganza ... Goddess on the mountain top, burning like a silver flame ...

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  6. Photoshopped and only half the image.. . .

    Turns out that the picture posted above shows us only half of the godman's inspired Fall fashion getup. To see the other half and also to see proof that all the images have been 'photoshopped', head on over to the blog at

    http://mylesoblarney.blogspot.com/

    Sister K, I am grateful to you for forgiveness. I'll be more sensitive to your feelings in the future.

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  7. Attention Chi-Ting Master, Venus in furs pointed out that his aide de camp Myles O'Blarney is only a veiling anagram that in fact refers to MY SLY ENABLER. Is he indeed a mole playing a double game to Nithy's advantage?

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  8. Dear Sir:
    I write to report to you further sad observations confirming the moral turpitude and bogosity of His Holiness the Paramahansa Nithyananda. Herewith I enclose a photograph with notes.

    I use the term "moral turpitude", described under common law as an "act of baseness, vileness or depravity in respect of social duties which a man owes to his fellow man, or to society in general, and which is contrary to the accepted and customary rules of integrity between a man and his fellow man."

    In this present instance, surely we have a right to expect that any photograph of a spiritual Master issued officially by him and his organisation should not be a fake or "photoshopped". If the "Master" is depicted as standing within his holy ashram, in full regalia, holding a magical Khatvanga staff, then the Master should actually be in such a location with such a staff and his photograph should have been taken in that location.

    Or if he is shown standing before a full moon, then this image likewise should represent the Master's presence at that sacred moment and location with Mama Chandra in full bloom, gracing the sky behind him.

    If, on the other hand, the Master had wished or had consented to having his picture taken in a photographic studio, posing in front of an artificial photographic scene, then this should be disclosed in a statement beneath the photograph, stating for example: "His Excellency Sri Sri SataChita Paramnanda, as photographed in Mssrs. Grimm- Graff Ganesh studio on March 7th, 2012".

    I fear, Sir, that such scruples are being lost and we are sliding down a terrible slope involving the egregious misuse by Swamis of new image and cinematographic technology. In future unscrupulous godmen may have the audacity to portray themselves in satsang with past saints or even, God forbid, as showing themselves in conversation with earlier founding members of their own lineage. Who can say where it will end, this misuse of new technology.

    Lastly, I must also inform you that the above Paramahansa Nithyananda has gone so far as to offer assignments of a "Spiritual Name" to any applicant who files an online application with payment of the fee. He will provide this spiritual name to any person who applies, a person whom he has never met and may never meet. The only requirement is to fill out a form, submit a photograph and make an online pre-payment in US dollars of $535.00. See:

    https://transactions.nithyanandavedictemple.org/services/spiritual-name-request

    What will these money-hungry gurus dream up next?

    With folded hands, Sri Kevinji, in salutation. I shall try ever to stay thirsty and keep a few jars of porter within arms' reach nearby.

    Yours faithfully,

    Myles na Gopaleen

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  9. Dear Mr Myles,
    I like your Irish wit and sense of humour ... Are you by any chance a family member of the Flann O’Brien clan?

    But you have to know that Nithyananda is really passé. He went beyond any credibility and became the laughing-stock of the spiritual masters and other members of humanity. Last year you could have a lot of success with your peerless satire, but now the sadhaks just shrug their shoulders and continue their useless efforts to reach the unreachable. You preach for the fucking deaf and blind birds sir.

    You might have more success with a witty lampoon on Mooji or Madhukar and other evil species of the Satsang Clown Clan. Or even one on His Royal Sillyness Richard Clarke.

    Anyway I wish you success in your career as comedian, joker and buffoon.

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  10. Bring me the head of Anthony Moo-Young!

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  11. My esteemed Mr. Firefly,

    Thy glowworm's light, tremulous and periodical though it may be,
    shines yet in a savy and instructive manner. Your words have
    saved me the loss of wasted time and labour, Sir, for which I thank you.

    I was in the midst of discovery of further foul scams and shenanigans
    of Tiruvannamalai's own native son, the debauched godman, Swami
    Nithyananda, when I read you comments here on Sri Sri Kevinananda's
    worthy List.

    You may imagine my surprise and unutterable disgust when I first discovered
    that the godman was now offering for sale computer software, which
    after being installed, would enable the purchaser to receive the precious boon
    of 2-Way Nayana Deeksha from His Holiness, over the internet.

    (Nayana Deeksha, for those readers who may not know, is an ancient and
    sacred act in which healing and spiritually awakening energy is sent
    directly from the eyes of a gracious guru into those of a devoted disciple)

    I shit you not. Following receipt of a payment of $50.00 as a software
    license fee, the licensee will then be able to experience a session of online
    Nayana Deeksha if he has signed up at least 48 hours in advance
    and has prepaid for one or more such sessions. These digital darshans can
    be purchased from the godman at a price of $25.00 each. They are
    available twice daily on most days and are offered also on a monthly discounted
    volume basis.

    Not wishing to whip a dead horse down to its very bones and sinews, yet before I had
    had the pleasure of being instructed by your comments, already had I
    uploaded an analysis of some of the layers present within the official photograph
    of His Holiness Paramhamsa Nithyananda.
    Click here
    to see the result, even if it may be viewed by you and others with a long yawn or a bored sigh.


    Le meas i dtaca le do erudition agus treoracha,


    Myles

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  12. Sam,

    Is it the larger or the smaller head that you prefer?

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  13. Any size will do as long as heads roll. As Scaryjo so aptly put it "The Gods must have blood!" If anyone wants to play Mongolian football afterwards, just cut off the dreads and it'll roll better ...

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  14. My dear Mr Blarney
    In your world of intellectual and erudite folly, so admired by us undeveloped and simple minded couch potatoes - who get our satisfaction from totally stupid US sitcoms - which we watch with open mouthed saliva dripping admiration and tons of crisps and king-size burgers and over-sized soft drinks! Do you really think there is a place for us - the abandoned species of humanity - to play a significant role in the developing of the spiritual revolution. Or do you just abandon us to the sideline of the laughable and the insipid, to be ridiculed by your kind as just trash? If that be so, I pity you because you will never be able to understand Jesus's words that the children and the simple minded - plus lumpen slobs on couchs - will inherit the Kingdom of God. And that you so-called brainy people will have to spend a few aeons in Hell - or if you are lucky in Purgatory! Can you please shine your unsurpassed light and mind-mind-blowing probe on this confusing topic for me.

    With veneration to your elevated rank in today’s spiritual society and with reverence from your humble servant at the feet of Arunachala the immovable ...

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  15. My dear Mr. Obesity Fighter,

    I gratefully acknowledge your inquiries.

    Please excuse the directness of my observation but I sense you may be in a condition of advanced spiritual pain, and failure of physical energy, obliquely searching for ideas in waste bins, frequenting strange places, even reading the pages of the Chi Ting satirical newsletter in the faint hope of being able to find renewal and a source of raw energy to launch you out of your present lassitude.

    Your problem, as I see it, is not a question of cheeseburgers and supersized fries or of a couch potato collapsed in front of a TV. Your difficulty is part of a universal situation on earth at this time.

    Let me be blunt: in case you did not notice, the 2012 Spiritual Revolution is not being televised. There will be no need for you or for anyone else to “cease being a part of the problem” and to dedicate yourself towards joining the solution. Because there is no solution. The disclosure project is not going to work out. Nothing will be disclosed. It will fizzle and uncover nothing at all. Global warming will continue to increase until its peak average temperature is reached - as it has done a hundred thousand times in the past - and then global cooling will begin. (This, by the way, is the more lethal part of the cycle: each hemisphere of earth becomes capped in ice, the oceans dry up and most of northern Europe and America will need to be evacuated or go underground and into a cocoon of some sort.) Only then does one realize that the cost of energy to run a fan for cooling in the Summer months is trivial compared to what is required to maintain living temperatures for all humans for 10 months of the year.

    So, in the remaining time one has left to live, my recommendation is that you should become concerned mainly with your own sadhana. If possible, attend the morning services and pujas at several Tiruvannamalai ashrams and temples, perform barefoot giri pradakshina once or twice daily. Call by Usha’s every so often. Cultivate friendships which, in the end, may give you hope of assistance when that time comes for you to be ferried across Lethe and reminded to drink lightly thereof.

    Please forget about the issues of obesity, my dear. Weight can be quickly lost by anyone who simply stops the consumption of food for a few weeks. It always works. Stop eating and you loose weight. Obesity only afflicts those who are distracted or who have been traumatized in some way. Trade your idles and sambas for glasses of white wine and see what happens.

    With well wishes and the best of hopes for your immanent enlightenment and ridiculously easy loss of weight, I remain,

    Yours faithfully,


    Myles O’Blarney

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  16. O’Blarney

    Mr Firefly and Mr Obesity Fighter?! It seems that you know the persons behind these nicknames in person or do you always address sexless people with Mr? In that case your folly is even greater then I already though or are you a misogynist?

    It stinks here, do I smell a rat? Your answer to the sincere questions of Mr/Mrs Obesity Fighter is an affront and a mockery of the highest degree. Wrapped up and veiled in a detestable and dreadful waterfall of grotesque and senseless words, you say nothing and if you do, your advice is utterly silly and shows you know nothing at all about the complex problems of obesity and how it undermines and stiffens all activity including sadhana. Meanwhile your mumbo-jumbo about global warming is laughable.

    In short, you are a fucking politician! A wolf dressed in sheepskin! It is obvious you are a fraud of the same order as your friend Nithyananda and your mockery of him is just another scam.

    FIE!

    I order that you start your long way back to Tipperary on foot immediately without delay - and hide yourself in your cloud of bombastic language when you cross the Pakistan border - if you don’t want to be hacked to pieces, that is. There is no place in Arunachala for buffoons like you, there are already too many!

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  17. Rumour is that Illuminati linchpin and Sit-sing Supremo Upahar has returned from his Italian sojourn. Despite his failing health and his imminent ascension, Upahar will heroically continue with his Sunday bhajan service (i.e. Luciferian group mind control). But the burning question remains will Charlotte Psycho Sister be invited for a satanic duet?

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  18. Sister Klaus Apitakuchambalammal,

    Being your slave, what should I do but tend
    Upon the hours and times of your desire?
    I have no precious time at all to spend,
    Nor services to do, till you require.
    Nor dare I chide the world-without-end hour
    Whilst I, my sovereign, watch the clock for you,
    Nor think the bitterness of absence sour
    When you have bid your servant once adieu;
    Nor dare I question with my jealous thought
    Where you may be, or your affairs suppose,
    But, like a sad slave, stay and think of nought
    Save, where you are how happy you make those.

    So true a fool is love that in your will,
    Though you do any thing, he thinks no ill.

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  19. Arthritic AdvaitinOctober 15, 2012 at 7:35 PM

    Will famed mystic poet Kevan M be returning to Tiru for a sunday sing-song with his beloved chum Upahar?

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  20. O’Blarney

    So that is your response: a slimy pseudo love poem, with ingrained sarcasm.
    Well I have note books full of those.
    This one is dedicated to you and your mad Godman.


    To lick his slipper some said was true bliss,
    Better indeed than pardoners to pay,
    But an affected rascal came amiss
    Up from that dip where roaches swim and play,
    And said,” My Lords, for God’s sake, your hands stay!
    The eel is in that booth quite unrevealed,
    There you shall find, if you would look that way,
    Deep in his amice a great fault concealed”

    He was about that Chapter to intone
    But found, within, the horns of a young cow,
    “My mitre’s depth,” he said,” is cold as stone,
    It chills my freezing brain, I know not how”
    With turnips’ reek they warm his icy brow,
    He’d stay at home quite happily and glad
    If they should find new harnesses somehow
    For all those folk whose brains have turned quite mad.

    And now on your way, Sir!

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  21. Madurai mutt head sacks Nithyananda

    MADURAI: Barely six months after he was controversially anointed the 293rd pontiff of the Madurai Adheenam, a millennium-old saivite mutt, self-styled godman Nithyananda was removed from the position by senior pontiff Arunagirinatha Desikar on Friday.

    Bowing to pressure from the state government, which has moved court to take over the mutt, Desikar made the announcement at a brief media interaction here on Friday.

    In yet another unexpected move, he approached the police seeking protection, saying he faced a threat to his life. A large posse of police was deployed at the Mutt soon after the complaint was made. A number of cadres of the Hindu Munnani and other organizations, who were staging protests seeking the removal of Nithyananda, also assembled in front of the mutt.

    "We have removed Nithyananda from the position of 293rd pontiff of Madurai Adheenam due to certain prevailing circumstances,'' Desikar said.

    Flanked by his advocates, he told the media that he could not contact Nithyananda to convey the decision, and evaded queries on the reason for removing him. He also did not make any adverse comments on Nithyananda, who is presently in Tiruvannamalai. "Present situation warranted his removal. In fact, he was prepared to quit from the position," Desikar said.

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  22. According to the Times of India, Nithy's not sad!

    http://timesofindia.indiatimes.com//articleshow/16896247.cms?intenttarget=no

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  23. What is he going to say in public, Boo hoo? Me thinks he will be bigger trouble in Tiru, now that his Karnataka and Madurai playgrounds grounds have been taken away from him. No worries there b'coz for sure Arunachala will deal with him and his super duped devotees.

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  24. For the 137th time ... Arunachala doesn't deal with anyone, not with Nithya or Madhukar and also not with you or me. It is utterly silly and childish to attribute human qualities to Arunachala. So grow up ...

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  25. Arunachala has divine qualities and his only job is to help us merge with him. The ego of Nithy and you will have to be crushed inorder for Arunachala to do that. Sorry about that. No Nity, no firefly.

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  26. Arunachala does not deal ... quite so Firefly. Nonetheless shoddy dealerships run by spiritual traders are a growing trend and the potential profits are a big deal to them ... Should we wish them well in their endeavour? Or conversely are we to express indignation and outrage in the face of flagrant abuse and gross misconduct. These miscreants have no scruples and operate without the human emotions of shame, heartfelt remorse, or guilt for their misdeeds. Keeping quiet's a way to go, things fall into place of their own accord.

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  27. OK for the last time, Arunachala has no divine qualities, no job to help you to merge with something. Arunachala has no qualities at all, It just IS, that’s all. The One without attributes, naked in the scorching sun.

    Nothing has to be crushed, just see yourself as you are without attributes - and surprise, surprise - Arunachala and you ARE one, that’s the mystery!

    And Scary Chum (I presume?) in all history there were miscreants, liars, cheats and false prophets - craving without scruples for wealth and power - and since people want to be deceived it will go on and on. These criminals are not worth a farthing of our attention. They are only good to take the piss out of - like we do here! And yes, the only way is to remain silent as advocated by Ramana as the only true Sadhana.

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  28. My dear Firefly, m’lass or m’lad – not sure if you are one who sports two pommels on your chest or just one near to the joining of your legs. Perhaps you are someone sprouting all three, or maybe even a person belonging to that rare receptive breed fitted with sexual portals and introital cavities, having only fingers, toes, tongues, nose, ears, knuckles, elbows, shoulders, knees, ankles, heels and the like for penetrant purposes. I have no way of knowing. And I do not wish to presume, in deference to the tender advice given by the transgendered one on this list.

    With reference to Arunachala, I should not be so quick to dismiss the idea of an “Old Testament” type of god. From careful examinations anthropologists have learned to assume that each mountain has its own intrinsic spirit which is sacred and is to be worshiped by the local humans if catastrophes are to be avoided. Rituals for effective mountain-spirit worship are found in every country so far visited.

    And if the propitiations are found to be inadequate, or missing, dire consequences always follow. In South America, for example, the mountain deities known as Apu are the children of Pachamama, the Earth Mother. Apu must be offered fruit and given absolute respect. To fail such proper acknowledgement of their awesome powers is to risk acquiring an untreatable disease for oneself, one’s children or other family members, in addition to possibly suffering the failure of one’s crops, the drying up of streams and wells and a devastating invasion of parasitic insects blown in from the jungle.

    Not a pretty picture. Why should Arunachala be any different?

    Ramana Maharshi, as his first action following his Samadhi at age 16, travelled to Tiruvannamalai to seek the presence of Arunachala Shiva. In the following years he composed devotional lyrical poetry, “The Five Hymns to Arunachala” and “Akshara Mana Malai”. He declared that he was a devotee of the mountain and that the mountain was his spiritual teacher. When his mother finally located him and begged him to come home to help support his family since his father had died, he refused to do so, stating that it was his destiny never to leave Arunachala. It is therefore clear to many people that Arunachala is an extremely powerful Apu who does not suffer fools lightly, nor does Apu release any of his holy or transgendered disciples once Apu has successfully attracted them.

    Please take care also that you do not forget the workings of the little people on this mountain, who have power to close off paths and stop maintenance work, whose spontaneous combustive energy can set fires ablaze without the need for flint stones, cigarette lighters, matches or lightening strikes.

    Some of us fancy that after the ocean waters come back to flood the plains, Arunachala will resume being a small island, cleansed of the human fungal growths which accreted to its base during the Interglacial. But long before this happens it’s likely that Apu Aurnachala-Shiva will continue playing games of “cat and mouse” or “mongoose and cobra” with the miscreants, liars, cheats and false prophets, as you call them, who sully the holy city of Tiru and pollute the Pradakshina walk.

    While this show is in progress my intention is not to remain as “silent as a rishi in rapture”, as you seem to suggest as being the best response. But rather I intend to watch and listen, laugh, and roar, clap my hands, stamp my feet and blow party horns to let Apu know just how huge is my appreciation for his inventiveness and his ingenuity in manifesting these forms and scripting all their preposterous interactions.

    Time now for a pint of Smithwick’s with a quarter plate offering of some Dubliner and Hegartys Cheddar, a few spiced oatey crackers with a few gherkins. This should do me nicely ‘til I feel the flutter of wings on me cheek from dear Morpheus later in the evening.

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  29. What was the nature of the maintenance work carried out by the little people on the mountain? For whose sake was it halted and when (if ever) will it resume? Would Hegarty Cheddar and a pint of Smithwick appeal to their selectively refined epicurean nature? Is Richard Clarke one of these short ass munchkins?

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  30. Thank you Brother Mylus for indicating the wrathful aspect of Arunachala, thus bringing it out of the shadow of even the most apocryphal of sibylline mutterings ... Both Parvati and Rudra are strongly associated with mountains and known for their inclination to ruthlessly avenge perceived injustices. Could it be that Arunachala is a chunk of Mt Sinai dropped at a point on Earth 100km inland from Pondicherry, emanating wrathful rays, zapping the occasional transgendered freak back into good old fashioned conformity? Hail the angry god, as only such a one can be the master of unalloyed compassion. So let the knuckle duster loose, but not before Kevji ducks for cover.

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  31. Dear Anon,
    I do not think it wise to call our beloved Sister Klaus a "trangendered freak". You will surely invoke the wrath of Sodom! And it will not be me ducking for cover, but you trying to put your entrails back in ...

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  32. Dear Myles

    I presume you are on your way to the homeland of Finn McCool (or Fionn mac Cumhaill as they correctly say in Kildare County) - as suggested and recommended with strong arguments by our beloved and equally hated Sister K.

    So I am somewhat surprised to see you scribbling away again. And this time about fairy tales, which I can understand because ever since I was 3 thumps high I have been a passionate reader of those enchanting tales where everything is possible and nothing seems to be as it is. I enjoyed your tale of South American folklore so much: the magical and frightening world of Apu. Do you think there might be a connection with that breathtaking masterpiece from Satyajit Ray, "World of Apu"?

    And yes you are absolutely right: on Arunachala’s slopes there is also a lot of activity going on between the little people and other monstrosities of inconsistent and fickle quality, all belonging to that multitude of charming fairy tales you are so fond of.

    Dream on Sir, dream on. It is a lovely but dangerous kind of psychosis, especially if you indulge in laughing, roaring, clapping, stamping etc ... Just like Rumpelstiltskin who came to a very bad end because of these activities - which you as a connoisseur of tales of the Brothers Grimm unquestionably know.

    But my dear Myles, while all this tomfoolery is funny, it is hardly the point because you completely missed my quintessential point ... Since you also fell into the trap of attributing extreme (Apu-like?!) powers to Arunachala and even refer to the games of little miscreants. You are obviously not so clever, you are showing off and even worse, you do not understand that Silence includes all kinds of sound like roaring and stamping, psychedelic trance, Thunderclap Newman and the sound of Thor’s Heavenly Hammer. And whether you like it or not, even your beloved Apu is a synonym for Silence.

    That being said I wish you well as the Mad Hatter in your Wonderland where I might visit you one time to shine my little light on your magic mushroom tea party.

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  33. O’Blarney

    It’s a grave mistake Sir, not to take my well-considered advice: to piss-off to the other shore and start a new life as a columnist for the Tipperary Star, where they’ll absolutely adore your inimitable prose.

    Here you are fishing in troubled waters, since 98% of the Western population of this place (= about 200 people) is in some state of mental disorder, is brain-dead or worse.

    As that little creep and miserable wretch Firefly pointed out, you are a fantastic storyteller, specialised in the noble art of fairy tales. But the sincere Sadhak (the other 2% of the population) is not interested in these trivialities. Rather than interfering with their one pointed meditation on the nature of the Self, it would be better if you took your freak show of silly little Apus - who could never attract nor seduce a holy transgendered like me (what a preposterous idea!) - all the other phantoms and banshees and also your over-egged prose ("being frivolous in substance and bombastic in style" if I may quote the famous Charles de Secondat, Baron de Montesquieu), to the more green and lush pastures of Tipperary. There your phantasmagorical allegories might find more eager, innocent, humble and sane ears.

    Once again I bid you farewell and good riddance.

    P.S. If you read that piece of incoherent gargantuan bullshit by that Anon rambling on about wrathful aspects of Arunachala and other preposterous nonsensical tales which belong to that vast quantity of folklore so much adored by you, you will immediately see that this creature belongs to the 98% brain-dead people who poison and deface this holy place with their grotesque and zombie-like behaviour. They can’t be helped. Worse, they’re still waiting for Arunachala’s grace?! (sic) Instant death by decapitation might be a blessing for them ...

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  34. The silver chalice of Magdalene is the exclusive possession of the following 4 mentally sound Westerners; Kevji, Klausji, Klaptrapji and Godotji ... The rest of us (the less blessed 196 in number) can only aspire to reach their exalted state and are quite content to sip our chai from worn coconut shells ...

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  35. I dare suggest that the number of foreigners (200) is a gross underestimate. The current projection for 2020 is for 1000 permanents and 8 times as many itinerants. Further regulatory regimes will likely impose more control, closures and restrictions than are presently in place. Prices are bound to skyrocket - with only the Laird Myles O'Blarney having sufficient means to qualify as the sole permanent resident. The other riff-raff is not wanted by the authorities and will be discouraged from staying beyond a stipulated short period. The gentrification of Tiruvannamalai will get underway in a manner which may not suit many - but there's no stopping the march of time and the wind of change it brings in its wake ...

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  36. EXPOSE SISTER KLAUS!

    I am one of these so-called brain-dead people and I feel very offended by that idiot Sister K. What right has she/it (?) to judge people like me who come here for our love of the mountain and to meet friends and have a nice party sometimes. I am proud of being a member of the "Tiru Community" on Facebook where you find some 100 friends of Arunachala who visit Tiru regularly and share whatever comes up in a deeply loving way. I don’t speak for the whole group but many of us are really pissed off.

    I have nothing against this blog and Kevinji, it has interesting stories and discussions and it is a good thing to expose false gurus. But this Sister, who just likes to stamp on vulnerable souls, is really a disgrace and an insult to all people who love Arunachala. There has to be an end to it.

    So we have come up with an idea to find out who is behind this creep. We want to expose her (I actually suspect it is a HE) so that she/he can not show her/his ugly face in Tiru anymore and we can live in peace. If it is true that this freak has been living in Tiru for 25 years or more, it should not be so difficult to find out who they are since there are only a few people left from that time. We are making a list of possible suspects, male and female. There are just a few who it might be. We want to ask readers to help and come up with some names. Then it should be easy to find out. We could make it into a game with a nice prize for the winner.

    Let’s get the bastard and free ourselves from the tyranny of this ridiculous and arrogant character - and the fascistic ideas behind it!

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  37. I would like to make it very clear that despite a youthful indiscretion with lederhosen and fishnet stockings - I am not Sister Klaus. As my great chum Jimmy Savile sagely remarked: "You can always spot a wrong'un a mile off".

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  38. I have a strong suspicion that Richard Clarke is a J. Edgar Hoover clone. He likes to strut around like Il Duce but behind closed doors out comes the lingerie and crotchless panties. Typical shortass megalomaniac pansy! He must be Sister Klaus!

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  39. Thank you Myles for your uplifting words but I am afraid it doesn't have much impact on my devastated and sad state of being. I definitely belong to the damned 98%. The Sister is right, people like me are at least half brain-dead and a burden to society, contributing nothing more than a lot of constipated shit in the morning - I will spare you the agony of this dramatic act! It would be better if my kind didn’t exist, we are utterly useless - and are not even able to do any kind of sadhana with the curse of the Obesity Demon lurking in our subconscious.

    I am not even interested in exposing Sister Klaus - she is definitely of a much higher and elevated order than us worthless and pathetic couch potatoes. So I bow my head before her, I don’t even feel her rebukes or the blows on my poor wretched body and spiritless soul. I definitely deserve this abuse and flogging. Thank you Beloved Sister!

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  40. The Euthanasia SocietyOctober 29, 2012 at 4:30 PM

    We will be showing the 1973 sci-fi classic Soylent Green every Friday on Ragini's rooftop at 8pm. The 98% are welcome to attend ...

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  41. Famed mystic poet Kevan M.October 30, 2012 at 9:18 AM

    Wiener poem No.53

    Oh woe unto my wiener,
    My wibbly wobbly wiener,
    Thrice woe unto my wiener.

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  42. Ha, ha what a good idea! It is time to nail that arrogant nasty bitch to the cross. Richard Clarke came here only a few years ago, silly Maryjo, and he has not the sarcastic wit of the wretched Sister. He is just a dumb asshole. David Godot’s denial came a bit too quick methinks, seems suspicious. He can't write and is a frustrated old scumbag! But I know some Westerners who came here in the 80s or earlier and are still around. Some I know only by their first name or nickname. Here they are:

    Christian; David Godman (Godot); Priscilla Gong; Upahar; Chris Quilkey; Apeetha; Hans; Marleen Boers; Cindy; Sunanda; Ben; J.P.; Kevan M.; & Reinhart Jung

    And there must be a few more who I don’t know. So take your pick ...

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  43. I wonder if Kevan M's first 52 poems were as good as this one! What do you reckon KEVJI?

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  44. I reckon Kevan M. is a poetic genuis of unsurpassed renown - his Wiener poem No. 25 is particularily moving. In the years to come his faux Aurovile slum in Rennes Le Pissoir will become a site of pilgrimage for a multitude of awestruck devotees!

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  45. I have visited this blog for only 4 or 5 years but from day one I thought Sister K. was one of Kevinji's alter egos, which Geminis are famous for. The Twins are distinct polar opposites and each have a tendency to project 'multiple alters' into their realities. Did someone mention a prize?

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  46. Dear Miss Marple,
    No prizes - and anyway you're wrong! There is a fatal flaw in your deduction - I don't speak German (duh!) It's a filthy Hunnish tongue which I would never soil my tongue with ...

    P.S. Don't you have enuff monies in your greedy granny offshore bank accounts? Don't blag a blagger ...

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  47. My dear Firefly and Sister Klaus Apitakuchambalammal,

    You will be delighted to know that I am now in an internet shop in the city of Sialkot in Pakistan, some 1800 miles north of Tiru. Last night I passed through Lahore, stopping with my driver only once for chai and jalebis. This morning I am trying my best to type on a severely distressed keyboard, many letters of which, have only metal stumps rising up rather than plastic caps. One of the springs in the space bar is missing, causing the bar to rest at an oblique angle. It often gets stuck in the “down” position while typing, forcing one to stop and to use a thumb and finger to try and tease it back up.

    I have taken your advice to heart and I have now begun my journey back to the "isle of saints and scholars" from whence I came, or to the “other shore” as you suggested.

    With all good wishes,

    Myles

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  48. To the Right, Right Honourable Kevanandaji Ji,

    As you will have seen, I tried my best to “make friendly” with the Sister and Firefly but I have utterly failed.

    I even made a gesture of offering Sister Klaus the Bard’s lovely Sonnet 57 as a reply to her seemingly overweening and imperious demands. But the poem was interpreted by her as “a slimy pseudo love poem, with ingrained sarcasm”, a rather unusual interpretation, I must say, of this sonnet.

    Then just last Friday, Firefly joined the Sister and said to me, “I presume you are on your way to the homeland . . . . . I am somewhat surprised to see you scribbling away again. . . . Dream on Sir, dream on. It is a lovely but dangerous kind of psychosis [that you are manifesting]. . . Just like Rumpelstiltskin who came to a very bad end because of these activities . . . [etc., etc.]”

    It was then clear to me that a consensus had been reached on suggesting strongly that I depart from Tiru. And since this had been reached by two creatures in many ways diametrically opposed to each other, it occurred to me that I should stop and seriously consider their advice. Perhaps they are right after all, I thought.

    On the following day, I settled my hotel bill and set out for Vellore, to share a car and expenses with a friend who fortuitously was headed to Sialkot to show samples of leather and Rexine to various makers of Cricket batting gloves, leg guards, balls and racquets of many kinds. It took us two and a half days to reach the Wagah border station in Pakistan. Since I have been travelling without a “smart-phone”, it was only a few hours ago today after finding this internet shop that I learned of the demand that was made on your website to reveal Sister Klaus’ identity.

    Ironically, before leaving Tiru, I had myself also made certain enquiries concerning the possible identity of the transgendered one. One of my sources turned up a surprising candidate, with detailed biography and even with a recent photograph taken of him in the streets of Tiruvannamalai. I saved this information to a hard drive before I left, and I sent the drive along with other valuables which I dared not travel with, by air post to Tipperary.

    On a positive note: A dear uncle of mine in Tip is a publican who is now wanting to retire. He has asked whether I might be interested in taking over his public house.

    Three things are in it’s favour. The first is that the pub has a fibre-optic connection to the internet; the second is it has a cellar full of barrels of porter and stout; the third is I’d have a certain faire amount of free time available.

    ========

    So I am considering now to return to Lahore and take a flight back to Éire, thus greatly shortening my travel time. (Also I’ve had quite enough of roadside micturition and squatting, quite enough to last me for a while.)

    The sanitary facilities beyond Rawalpindi and Peshawar, I am told are only going to get worse and worse, and I have been especially warned about Afghanistan. Going to the crapper there is one of the most dangerous things a traveller can do, especially for a pale skinned foreigner.

    In any case, if there is interest here I’ll be glad to share what I’ve turned up on Sister Klaus, once I get back. Let me know.

    Yours with a scraggly beard and in bad need of a hot bath, I am,

    Yours faithfully,

    Myles O’Blarney

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  49. Just to let you know Apeetha lives overseas and has done so for many years. That doesn't mean that she doesn't visit Tiru from time to time.

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  50. Go on Myles dish the dirt! Who is it?

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  51. Could it be our caveman Sven??

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  52. Dear Myles,

    Return henceforth! Now that Miss Marple has so furiously fucked up, your deductive skills are urgently required. The good Sister is going through one of her manic moments ... It's something to do with the transgendered menstrual cycle! As for Firefly, it is obvious to anyone of basic intelligence that this 'nom de plume' is in fact Little Shiva whose paranoid opinions are ignored by everyone - except the unfortunate young women he attempts to grope and are forced to beat him around the head with great vigour! Do not be diverted from your sacred task. It is a karmic obligation that must be fulfilled!

    Yours His Holiness Sri Sri SRI Kevinandaji, Saviour of Humanity etc etc ...

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  53. What about Troll Surya? No one seems to have mentioned him when it seems so obvious. A psychologist, very good at computers, online all day. He is close to Sunananda who he regularly counsels ... and is very vocal about pointing the blame towards others. He was also very critical of Steve Woodman. All a bit Hannibal Lecter ...

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  54. Anonymous AnonymousOctober 31, 2012 at 11:17 AM

    Apeetha is here, I just saw her and she is absolutely a suspect! Then I want to draw your attention to the fact that Sister Klaus is an anagram for "is US stalker". This means that she is a CIA agent collecting information about terrorist and/or Anti Patriot Act activities concerning all Tiru visitors. This makes her a very dangerous person. We always thought that this pseudo-transgender business and anti-US sentiment was very suspicious. Anonymous Anonymous advice is to handle this with care. It would be too bad if these fucking drones wiped out Tiru!

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  55. The Tamil Nadu government is attempting to nationalise Nithy's ashram in Tiru!

    http://timesofindia.indiatimes.com//articleshow/17028182.cms?intenttarget=no

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  56. Re: Hindu Religious and Charitable Endowments (HR&CE) seeks Madurai court order to seize the godman's properties.

    The HR&CE is a post-colonial relic created originally by British rulers to assist Christian missionary efforts by weakening and undermining the strength of Hinduism.

    Note: the HR&CE is not allowed to address frauds or scandals that occur within Christian and Moslem orgs. Only Hindoo orgs where they can seize control and “neutralize the enemy”, LOL!

    One therefore has to marvel at the ingenuity of Arunachala-Siva and his “healing surgeon” as it starts to effect a cure and avenge blasphemies, using as pretext, poor Nithy's sex scandals to swallow up his properties and return them to a snake infested jungle.

    = = = = =

    The healing surgeon prepares to make his first incision, LOL.

    = = = = =

    IMAGE: Anaconda snake starting to swallow its flailing crocodile prey having just subdued it within its massive coils.

    It would appear that Nithy will need all the Siddhis and Shakti power he can muster to ride this one out.

    Peace,


    Myles

    (sent from the Dubai airport transit lounge)


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  57. Dear Myles

    Sitting in Dubai airport transit lounge is a mind boggling experience, so I forgive you your inaccuracy, fed by the inaccurate statement of Anon. The HR&CE is considered as a rogue department in Tamil Nadu, never the less it is not out to seize Nithy’s properties. Here is what the paper said ...

    "Following various allegations against the ashram, the government wants to bring it under its ambit using Section 59 of the HR&CE Act", said an official. "The section empowers the government to bring any ashram or mutt under its control to monitor all financial and asset dealings and ensure submission of annual accounts to the HR&CE commissioner. This is the first time such a notice has been issued."

    To my humble understanding this is something else than seizing his properties. And please notice "the first time".

    And again you attribute human qualities to Arunachala. How is it possible that an intelligent person as you can not see that this is absolutely unfeasible - even Scary Chum could understand that after some time. May I know your reasoning behind it? I deduct that this was your first visit here, the next time you come please spend more time just sitting on the Hill and listen, be still, you might come to a different understanding of its nature.

    Kevinanda, Saviour of Humanity, HA, my foot! You connecting me with that slimy creature Shiva is preposterous - you just follow your lowest possible instincts and picked a person you obviously despise - this is far below your dignity as a spiritual master - so please repair this false statement.

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  58. Actually I quite like Little Shiva, he has errrr certain idiosyncratic qualities!

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  59. What the fuck is all this madness about a witch hunt? Putting the Sister's head on the chopping block and all of you roaring with laughter while my head is cut off by one of you ridiculous nitwits?! But which of you would dare to wield the axe? I am the only one in this game here who is honest and sincere, spelling out what has to be said, not afraid to stumble and fall. The urge for truth is behind all my actions even if they seem ridiculous to you. You people are such obstinate oxen that kicking and whipping is the only way to get you moving and to ram the obvious down your throat. We transgendered are always discriminated against and trampled on by you arrogant male or female species of mankind. You just see us as freaks because you are not able to recognise the beauty and the splendour of the Holy Hermaphrodite. I don’t expect words of praise for my devotion and altruistic work for this blog but stabbing me in the back like this makes me weep with grief. I cry out loud to Kevinanda, like Caesar: "Et tu, Brute?!" You ungrateful dogs, you deserve to be roasted on a slow burning fire ... but my benign nature just makes me sigh and pray for your suffering souls. Jesus of Nazareth said: "Blessed are the feeble minded, they deserve the Kingdom of Heaven."

    It is obvious that my presence is no longer appreciated here. So I shall happily retire to my cave on the southern slopes of Arunachala ... You still have those motherfuckers Firefly and Myles to amuse you with their silly tales. Fuck you all ... and along with Charles Dickens I say: "Good riddance to bad rubbish!!!"

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  60. That was a party political broadcast on behalf of the Hermaphrodite Party! Bloody 'ell you do whine like a big girl's blouse! But interestingly enough you finally admitted to being Sven! So that must make you the ugliest woman ever since female biology began!

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  61. The Sister's tantrum is a bit like listening to Robespierre complain when Madame Guillotine finally paid him a visit!

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  62. the above is description of french drama,thought our sis was german.

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  63. It seems that our action had the desired result and that idiot will stay in a cave or any available dark hole. However we think it is very unlikely that Sven is behind the Sister, apart from also being German he is not really a clever one. But it doesn’t matter anymore, we’ve won and there will be a party on Barath’s (our esteemed Führer) roof tomorrow night, to celebrate the fall of the wretched Sister.
    Peace and happiness!

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  64. Here we go again Tiru is just about to be swamped with the shiftless vagabonds 'contemporary teachers often adapting their teaching to a comfortable psychotherapy to meet their audiences 'I' demands. They earn their livelihoods by itinerant teaching whatever an audience may be found. They marginalize Self Inquiry, as being too difficult, or ignore it. At the best it is given in an attenuated form.'

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  65. Indeed these vagabond debase self inquiry, but they merely respond to the huge demand from seekers for whom vichara is consigned to the too hard basket. They have the spare cash to pay for some momentary emotional comfort. The demand side is more pathetic then the suppliers.

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  66. As there are only 2 retards left standing, it behoves us to be a shining beacon to the intelligent community led by the that formidable intellect in the person of Myles Blarney. They are aware of our unbeatable challenge and are out to get us.

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  67. I think you underestimate your strength in numbers, there do seem to be rather a lot of retards running around Ramana Nagar. Why don't you form a club, there is strength in unity! And what is all this paranoid nonsense about Myles?

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