Friday, October 22, 2010

And the winner is ....

Chi-Ting Apocalypse is proud to present the winner of our prestigious Summer Quiz.

The answer was all of them simultaneously! Each of them are being shagged and are shagging as they are all dream figures of the Self. Therefore the Self is fucking itself. GEDDIT?!

And the winner is ....Yes you've guessed it, Gabriel, known as The Archangel in hooker circles throughout the world, as he is famed for his very specific sexual demands! Gabriel has been harassing and mind fucking every satsang teacher on the planet for at least 14 years. He first came to our attention in 98 at a John de Ruiter meeting where his chirpy North London tones could be heard harassing JdeR with a constant barrage of "Yeah, yeah but John," ad infinitum. Tony Parsons recently threatened to throw him out of a meeting as he couldn't take it any more. Gabriel was a long term resident of Tiru until 2006 where he even had a servant called Man Friday. His Goddess fetish was fed by an on-off lurv affair with Radha Ma which came to a violent climax, when he tried to snog her in a satsang at the Ganapa Temple. She then proceeded to beat him up! Next he decamped to Bombay to bombard Ramesh Balsekar with his endless litany of clever but very tortured questions. Only a man of Ramesh's advanced years had the patience to deal with his monstrous mind. Gabriel is reminiscent of the Benny Hill character in the original movie The Italian Job. He likes BIG girls and we mean BIG! So if there are any Tubby Tessies in town, this is your big chance! Head on down to the Arunai Anantha Hotel for a personal audition!

So congratulations Gabriel, Radha Ma is already polishing the strap-on and digging out the leather bodice in anticipation of your return. This will be a reunion made in heaven!

As you can tell, Gabriel is much more fun than the moronic satsang teachers that plague our shores and we think he should set up shop and then we could have a REAL PARTY!

Shiny, shiny, shiny boots of leather
Whiplash girlchild in the dark
Comes in bells, your servant, don't forsake him
Strike, dear mistress, and cure his heart ...


  1. The most shocking surprise that emerged from the full sequence of the human genome earlier this year is that we are the proud owners of a paltry 30,000 genes -- barely twice the number of a fruit fly.
    So we can't blame Gabriel. We're all stuffed!

  2. So who has got the most genes then? Who is our Lord And Master?

  3. Gabriel has left the building! Scores of morbidly obese women through petals in his path as he left the Arunai Anantha for his retreat in Goa. We at Chi-ting are gutted that such an illumined personality has left our midst. It is rumoured that his fat girl binge has depleted his chi levels and he needs to recuperate by the sea!